The Simple Rules Of A Big City Parking Meter

Expired? You're kidding me.

To park at this meter, please abide by the simple rules below:

NO PARKING DURING THESE TIMES: X 8AM THRU 12PM X 11AM THRU 3PM X 1PM THRU THURSDAYS X WHEN METER'S FAVORITE TV SHOW IS ON

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2 HOUR LIMIT EXCEPT ON RANDOM DAYS OF METER'S CHOOSING

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QUARTERS ONLY, NO SMALL COIN UNDER WIDTH OF 20 MM, THICKNESS OF 25 MM PREFERRED

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1 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM = 25 MINUTES

2 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM = 75 MINUTES

3 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM = FIGURE IT OUT

IF 1 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM IS 25 MINUTES, 2 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM IS 75 MINUTES THEN 3 COIN OF SIZE 20 MM MUST BE X. SOLVE FOR X.

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IF YOU DON'T HAVE QUARTERS, METER WILL ACCEPT SLICE OF THIN CRUST PIZZA FROM GAS STATION ON THE CORNER

Directions: You Are Now Passing The Fry Shack For The 17th Time

Welcome driver! Thanks for choosing our map application to get you to The Fry Shack on L Street. Just taking a *quick* peek at your driving history here and looks like you tend to get rerouted fairly often. We've assembled our best employees to give you hands on directions directly from one of our navigational satellites in space. Just keep the voice feature activated so you don't miss any turns!

You are now approaching your destination. In 200 feet take a right.

Woah there! Looks like you just flew by it.

Alright no biggie, jump back on the express way and we'll just do a loop.

Alright here you come again! It's coming up on your right! Honk if you see it!

Cool you honked which means you see it!

Woah woah where you going!

Alright no biggie. We'll just do another one of those loops just remember it's on your right and it's called THE FRY SHACK. It's got that giant neon sign of a french fry with an arrow. We can see it up here in space you can't miss it.

Good good, you're coming in a little fast though, just slow it down. Wave if you see the sign. OK you waved that's good.

Keep going you're almost there now ease up on the gas and take a right!

Woah looks like you went a little too far! Watch out for that whale and sit tight while we reroute you.

Alright here we go! We're back on the express way. Now we're going to do the same thing as before. Once you loop off the express way The Fry Shack is on you're RIGHT.

Woah woah looks like you're heading the wrong way!

Alright you know what no biggie! Just call in an order to The Fry Shack for delivery and tell them you're in middle of the public park across the street.

PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER BEFORE STARTING OUR ORGANIC COOKIE RECIPE

We are so excited that you chose our organic chocolate chip cookies to make for your next party! We take our organic recipes very seriously which is why we ask that you please read the disclaimer below before you start baking. It's highly unlikely that you have any of our organic items in your cupboard.

We share this disclaimer to avoid the frustration of being mid-mixing of batter when you realize you have to travel to the Himalayan mountains to secure the salt. Happy baking!