You're Not Gonna Cook That Are You?

Hey, I'm your oven mitt. I see that dish you're about to put in the oven - what are you calling it again? Zucchini chicken nugget smash delight? Yeah that one. I highly recommend skipping it. I know a cooking disaster when I see one. But you do what you want, what do I know? I'm just an oven mitt with a lifetime of cooking experience.

Just know that I tried. Your dish is currently on fire and completely non-edible. This is probably for the best. But again what do I know I'm just an oven mitt.

A Meandering Recipe Intro

RECIPE: Standard waffles

COOK TIME: 1.5 hours

NEEDED: - A cellphone - Tina's number 555-5555

I'm so happy you stumbled upon my famous waffle recipe to follow today! Before we start cooking, make sure check out my intro story. The cook time is set at 1.5 hours because it may take this much time to tell this story and then we can start cooking! You may ask "do I need to read this story to cook the waffles?" Yes, very much so, that is what makes them my *famous* waffles! Every great recipe begins with a great story!

The first time I made waffles was the year 2004. What a great year! I was just learning what a waffle was, and the Red Sox were in the World Series! I remember mixing the batter for the first time while watching Tim Wakefield come out on the pitcher's mound. I even had a little joke with myself "hey batter, batter" as I mixed the waffles and watched the game. All the greats were on the team - David Ortiz, Johnny Damon, Jason Varitek! WOW what a team I'm just thinking about it again now. Johnny Damon that's a name I haven't heard in forever.

This team broke the curse of the Red Sox! You see how this recipe ties in with this story now? If there's any team that did it it was the 2004 Red Sox team. I mean, how can you argue with that? My friend Tina would argue the 2007 team was better. Call her up and tell her 2004 was the best, her number is 555-5555. She never listens to me. I mean look at the stats it's a given. Did you call her?

Remember when Damon hit a home run in the first inning?! 86 years and this team broke the curse. If there was a moment closest to god this was it. And then before I could even gain my composure the sportscasters announced "AND THE RED SOX WIN THE GAME!" I dropped the batter of out shock while calling my friend Tina to share the news. I never actually made the waffles, I just wanted to use this space to talk about the Red Sox and have someone call Tina to tell her I'm right.

PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER BEFORE STARTING OUR ORGANIC COOKIE RECIPE

We are so excited that you chose our organic chocolate chip cookies to make for your next party! We take our organic recipes very seriously which is why we ask that you please read the disclaimer below before you start baking. It's highly unlikely that you have any of our organic items in your cupboard.

We share this disclaimer to avoid the frustration of being mid-mixing of batter when you realize you have to travel to the Himalayan mountains to secure the salt. Happy baking!